5 Ways to Fail your Next Test

By Dominick Cooper, Director and Lead Creative Tutor of Launch Academy, Winner of the DaVinci Scholar Award, and University Guest Speaker

Ever wanted to just bomb a test? Fail miserably and embarrassingly? Alright maybe not, but if you ever need to, this article is for you! Here’s the 5 fast tips:

1) Don’t study – Studying takes way too much time. I mean, 30 minutes is as long as a whole episode of Gossip Girl and I’ve gotta have my gossip! And it’s boring too. Sitting at your desk or on your bed – it’s terrible.

First off, ask yourself this – Why are you even in school?? I mean, if you don’t care for studying, then drop out and work towards your GED before deciding to come back. Secondly, it’s only 30 minutes and you’ve got Hulu. Put some Hans Zimmer on and you’ll crank out some studying in no time.

2) Don’t write stuff down – Remembering things is for the birds. I mean, your mind is pretty sharp and you can remember what you learned yesterday, so you’ll be fine. Besides, your teacher goes over a bunch of stuff. So really writing it down is just a distraction.

Word of wisdom – Write it down even if you don’t understand it. Scientists refer to the “point of inspiration” occurring when, suddenly, it just clicks. Up until that point, you’re just going through the motions but light does come. Simply writing it down causes your brain to strengthen the connection to that concept and makes it easier for you to remember it in the future.

3) Don’t eat any breakfast – 7:45?! Definitely don’t have time to eat breakfast and, besides, 15 extra minutes of sleep is way better for my body. Ok, maybe a glass of milk on the way out but that’s really all you need. I’ll be fine til lunch at 11.

Your body hasn’t eaten in over 8 hours! Imagine how you’d feel if you were awake and hadn’t eaten in that long. Fuel your body in the morning because, without fuel, you’re just running on empty and learning becomes a dragging chore. Be sure to include some protein (eggs, yogurt) and complex carbs (oatmeal, whole wheat bread) in your breakfast for best results.

4) Don’t focus in class – Very first hour and the hour right after lunch are the worst hours of the day. But, at the same time, the best time to catch up on some rest and relaxation! Just mentally check out and then you’ll be even more ready for the next class! It works fabulously.

It works terribly. If you’re able to fight and keep your eyes open during a sleepover or camp out, you can fight to keep them up in class. It’s really a matter of priorities. Make doing well a priority and decide that you’re going to be the best. Before you know it, you will be.

5) Don’t check your answers – You just took the craziest test you’ve ever seen, so why look at it again? At least give me time to regain my sanity! Besides, I kind of looked em over
after I finished each question, so I pretty much did check it again.

Don’t kid yourself. Students lose so many points because of stupid mistakes. A wrong decimal place. A negative sign that wasn’t supposed to be there. Mitosis and not Meiosis. The list could go on. Don’t make these mistakes and your grade could increase by a whole letter.


Stay Smart.

Dominick Cooper

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